With a 1-2 week latency between exposure and symptoms prompting testing; what do you think has had the greatest impact?

Also, holy escalation in Elkhart, Batman.

​A fresh pot of coffee had just finished brewing at 6:30pm. (I’m weird like that.) And then I heard it.

*tweet whistle*

My heart pounded for a moment as my stomach felt like I was going down a hill.

“Julia!”

Not a second later did I see my iPad light up out of the corner of my eye. I exhaled with relief. The ringtone is programmed to go off when I have a reminder. It was time to take out the trash.

Isn’t that funny? How something so simple can evoke such an anxious response? The ringtone is commonly used for twitter notifications, and when I worked for Julia, I decided that a specific tone might be necessary to alert me when she (my boss) texted. I won’t go into detail about my work experience. What I want to share is how that ringtone took on such a fear factor! So much so, I had no interest in using it for a long period of time after I left that job. The sound of it made me cringe, and apparently it still does. However, the tech nerd in me is kind of annoyed that one of my phone’s features isn’t being used just because it rubs me the wrong way. The history with that tone, however, was short. So I decided, not long ago, that if I’m going to practice what I preach (while also believing in our science wholeheartedly & practicing earnestly), this was an opportunity for me to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It was time to create a new history.

This is weird, yeah? Maybe? A silly ringtone; so benign, insignificant. First world problem, right?

I’m using this bizarre example to illustrate how we “avoid” things. And I’m not just taking about big fears and minor nuisances like heights, planes, gluten, the toll road, etc. Past experiences that left a bad taste in our mouth somehow maintain an unfortunate haze of various things in which we used to find so much enjoyment. Songs, restaurants, streets, flavors of ice cream, Netflix movies—they can take on such nauseating qualities just by being an innocent bystander to a traumatic moment or just a really sucky situation or experience.

So then what happens.

“Eeeek, next song…I can’t stand hearing that anymore.”
“I am not going to that Starbucks, not after what happened.”
“I cannot go there right now, I’m just not up for the challenge.”


Some of these I’ve heard. Some of these I’ve said. MAN, being uncomfortable is SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

But what am I missing out on?
Creating a new memory with a friend.
Expanding my new experiences.
Learning something about myself.
Learning at all!
Doing something different.
An opportunity to be a good friend.
Enjoying more parts of the life I’ve created for myself.


Not only are these actually 100% genuine (I didn’t need to come up with examples because evidently I had my own), but these things are actually REALLY REALLY important to me. And it’s actually a little surreal to sit and look at it for a moment.


So here comes the fork in the road. Discomfort. Which way do I turn? If I go one way, I completely avoid the discomfort, and then I miss out on the things I value. If I go the other way, I’m going to be uncomfortable, AND I’m going to steer myself in the direction where I will arrive at my most treasured experiences.


There is A LOT to avoid. I’m quite curious if anyone reading is thinking about what they avoid.


What would you do, instead of avoiding, that would make you feel uncomfortable?
What are you missing out on?
Are those things important to you?

I’ve added this page for a few different purposes. First and foremost, I struggle with writing. I would not say that I have trouble with actually writing, but the act of composing a piece and deeming it “good enough” to be shared or sent out for approval is such a daunting task. I lose my train of thought, I re-read frequently (which is only worsened by my pokey reading speed) and often get bogged down by revisions. Rarely do I reach a satisfying “stopping point,” which ultimately leads to procrastination on top of more procrastination. My hope, with this page, is that I will “let my guard down,” so to speak. I am going to write without judgment or revision. You could call it “word vomit.”

By writing openly and freely, and about things that they themselves were “let’s see how this goes” projects, I hope to contact some sort of reinforcement. (My thesis chair might say the latter part of that sentence is teleological, and for now, I press on!) By writing without my “fluency blockers” (aka, de-fusing from all my old rules), I’m accepting the end result regardless of what other negative statements may pop into my head. I produced something, and that was my goal.

Another source of (potential) reinforcement would come from receiving feedback. That’s not to say I’m fishing for compliments! If that were the case, this is not what I’d be doing right now. Instead, I can receive constructive feedback on a skill in which I plan to build fluency and using topics that are easy and less open for debate, though debating written material will certainly be an excellent opportunity for generalization.

Finally, with all of that being said, I present to you my leisurely hobbies and projects, courtesy of Pinterest. Some are wins, while others are probably more on the #pinterestfail end of the spectrum. Regardless, my experience with these projects will also hopefully be of some use to other crafty folks looking to embark on the same activity.

Data collection:
2:07-2:23 (16 minutes for this post)

With every skill, there are 3 important factors; 1) Can do, 2) Know how, 3) Want to


For any skill, a person must be physically capable of engaging in the skill we’re teaching them. If it is not physically possible at the specific moment of teaching, there’s no safe way for it to occur. I know how to do a backflip. I was in gymnastics as a little kid, the coach helped me do one (never was I independent, I think I quit), and I could describe the steps. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to do a backflip. I would LOVE to do a backflip, STILL! However, I am quite confident that, if I attempted a backflip right here and now, I would literally break my neck.


To know how to do something, for someone with verbal skills for example, one would be able to describe the step or engage in it upon request. If a person cannot explain the steps in some form, the question becomes more, “Have they done it (or something similar) ever before?” I am physically capable of speaking Italian; I speak English. And I really, really, really want to speak it! But I have no idea what to say in a conversation. However, I do have the ability to learn it because I can say words like, “Grazi!” and Civitavecchia.


Lastly, and I’ll be darned if this isn’t THE MOST important; there absolutely must be motivation. Could I attempt that backflip? Sure. Why? Because I would LOVE to do a backflip. But what motivates me more is avoiding a neck injury. So, no backflip. Running a mile, on the other hand, I absolutely can do. I also know how because I did it in middle school and came in close to last every time. Unfortunately, I have little to no desire to get up and move my body rapidly until my chest explodes. So, no running.

Without considering each of these aspects when holding a learner to a standard or expectation, we set ourselves up for failure. That’s not to say the standard or expectation is necessarily unrealistic. By carefully understanding what our learner is bringing to the table, we can create a much more enriching and meaningful experience, setting the foundation for skills to reach fluency.

When we think about our goals, we don't have any idea what our situation will look like at the time we achieve them. So when we finally "reach" a goal, other things may not have fallen into the places we imagined they would at that time also. Thus, we may never feel like we're "there." We also see our goals as distinct, separate and often futuristic achievements. The steps that it will take to get there happen moment by moment and at their own pace. Never do we wake up entirely on the other side.