I value my ringtones...?

​A fresh pot of coffee had just finished brewing at 6:30pm. (I’m weird like that.) And then I heard it.

*tweet whistle*

My heart pounded for a moment as my stomach felt like I was going down a hill.

“Julia!”

Not a second later did I see my iPad light up out of the corner of my eye. I exhaled with relief. The ringtone is programmed to go off when I have a reminder. It was time to take out the trash.

Isn’t that funny? How something so simple can evoke such an anxious response? The ringtone is commonly used for twitter notifications, and when I worked for Julia, I decided that a specific tone might be necessary to alert me when she (my boss) texted. I won’t go into detail about my work experience. What I want to share is how that ringtone took on such a fear factor! So much so, I had no interest in using it for a long period of time after I left that job. The sound of it made me cringe, and apparently it still does. However, the tech nerd in me is kind of annoyed that one of my phone’s features isn’t being used just because it rubs me the wrong way. The history with that tone, however, was short. So I decided, not long ago, that if I’m going to practice what I preach (while also believing in our science wholeheartedly & practicing earnestly), this was an opportunity for me to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It was time to create a new history.

This is weird, yeah? Maybe? A silly ringtone; so benign, insignificant. First world problem, right?

I’m using this bizarre example to illustrate how we “avoid” things. And I’m not just taking about big fears and minor nuisances like heights, planes, gluten, the toll road, etc. Past experiences that left a bad taste in our mouth somehow maintain an unfortunate haze of various things in which we used to find so much enjoyment. Songs, restaurants, streets, flavors of ice cream, Netflix movies—they can take on such nauseating qualities just by being an innocent bystander to a traumatic moment or just a really sucky situation or experience.

So then what happens.

“Eeeek, next song…I can’t stand hearing that anymore.”
“I am not going to that Starbucks, not after what happened.”
“I cannot go there right now, I’m just not up for the challenge.”


Some of these I’ve heard. Some of these I’ve said. MAN, being uncomfortable is SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

But what am I missing out on?
Creating a new memory with a friend.
Expanding my new experiences.
Learning something about myself.
Learning at all!
Doing something different.
An opportunity to be a good friend.
Enjoying more parts of the life I’ve created for myself.


Not only are these actually 100% genuine (I didn’t need to come up with examples because evidently I had my own), but these things are actually REALLY REALLY important to me. And it’s actually a little surreal to sit and look at it for a moment.


So here comes the fork in the road. Discomfort. Which way do I turn? If I go one way, I completely avoid the discomfort, and then I miss out on the things I value. If I go the other way, I’m going to be uncomfortable, AND I’m going to steer myself in the direction where I will arrive at my most treasured experiences.


There is A LOT to avoid. I’m quite curious if anyone reading is thinking about what they avoid.


What would you do, instead of avoiding, that would make you feel uncomfortable?
What are you missing out on?
Are those things important to you?